|
We strive to provide only quality articles, so if there is
a specific topic related to herpes dating that you would like us
to cover, please contact us at any time.
And again, thank you to those contributing daily to our herpes dating
website.
Help me have sex!
How do I navigate being young, sexually active, and having hsv1? I'm a 24 year old female, I live in new york city, I work, I have many friends, I date, I'm pretty normal. I've slept with 5 men in my life, I am definitely the most careful of all my friends about safe sex and std protection, I am not and have never been by any means promiscuous. <br>
About a year ago, after questioning someone I had gone out on a few dates with about his std history and being tested and getting the answer that he had been checked recently and he was all clear, I let him go down on me. It turned out he unknowingly had oral hsv1(which I know is ridiculously common something like 80% + of adult Americans have it and I assume most don't know) and by him going down on me, I contracted genital hsv1. After weeks of freaking out and crying and thinking my life was over, I read more, saw lots of doctors and learned how unlikely it is for me to give this specific type of hsv to someone else. Because it's hsv1 and it's genital, it significantly lowers the chance that I will ever get a breakout again after my first and also the shedding time is significantly reduced due to the fact that hsv1's primary location is oral. With the exception of a small dot which may or may not have been something, I have not had a second breakout since my first a little over a year ago. I eat healthfully, I exercise, I take care of myself. Additionally, I also take an anti-viral and would never have sex without a condom. With all of these factors, the chances of me passing this on to a partner are less than 0.5%. While I would never EVER do this, both of my doctors have said that there is such a low risk of me spreading this, if I use protection(which I always, ALWAYS would), I don't even necessarily need to tell future partners. But, there is still a chance and because of that, I will always tell someone first, plus I would never want dishonesty to be part of a potential future relationship.<br>
<br>
Now, I am not dating anyone seriously and while I'd like to date someone seriously, it takes a while for something like that to happen. I'm not interested in casual sex with strangers, but unfortunately as a young person living in new york city, sex often comes before two people know for sure that they want to spend time with each other long term. After going on 4 or 5 dates with someone I think I could really like, I think it's part of the normal development of a potential relationship for us to have sex. In the past year, I have just stopped seeing people because I know I can't go further sexually with them unless I tell them, and I don't know how to approach this subject with a man that I'm not yet seriously dating.<br>
I would feel more comfortable asking, "would you be willing to take this risk?" if I knew that we both had a serious emotional investment in a relationship, but since that won't be the case, how do I do this? How do I tell someone I've only really known for maybe 2 or 3 weeks that I have this std and that I'd like them to consider sleeping with me anyway. It seems like too much to ask. While I know this is not a huge threat to either of us(it's not something that is a real medical danger or really affects ones life in anyway other than this way, the fact that you have to tell future partners) and whoever I sleep with is more likely to already have it (hsv1, not necessarily genital hsv1) than not have it, people hear herpes and that seems to be the end of the conversation. How do I navigate being sexually active with this virus? Please tell me this is not a death sentence for my sex life. I'm still young and I love sex!<br>
<br>
Throwaway email = helpgetmelaid@gmail.com
|
